Monday, January 12, 2009

In Neurological Terror...

I just forgot how to climb stairs.


I put one foot on the bottom step. And I didn't know what to do next. I was certain that if I moved my other foot, I'd fall. It seemed impossible that I'd just come down this flight of stairs, and that I had previously moved with (comparative) ease up and down the two flights of stairs in my house.

I could feel panic building. Because this was SO NOT COOL.

Logically, I knew that I knew how to do this. I knew that physically I was still capable of climbing stairs. The muscle memory was there, even if my brain refused to acknowledge that.

So I closed my eyes. And I ran, saying over and over, "Don't look don't think don't look don't think." Because if I stopped, I wouldn't make it all the way up.

Now I'm on the top floor of the house. I hope I can get back down later.

Part of me thinks this is hilarious. I mean, really, it's kind of funny, right? Stairs. Dude. They're stairs. Not rocket surgery. So it's funny.

And the rest of me is absolutely terrified.

I'm home alone and I'm really really scared right now.

Update @ 6:44PM: Nick came home shortly after I wrote the above post. I was applying self-Reiki, and he added some more healing energy into the mix. After a few minutes, he helped me down the stairs and I got some food into me. And more Reiki. Later I made it back up the stairs, largely unassisted.

I'm thinking it's probably a combo of the new meds and resulting die-off reaction, plus the exhaustion of the last two days.

Goes up. Goes down. Round and round we go.

1 comment:

  1. meep! that is very scary. i hope nick got home before you had to maneuver again. sending good brain vibes your way!