A sojourner in civilized life

This past weekend brought cloudy skies and a drop in temperature. On Saturday, I worked in my own little garden. I've got mostly native plants in the backyard, and I tend to the little strip of land up by the sidewalk. It's shared space, really, since there are three dwellings that make up our little plot of land (one detached house in front; two townhouses in back, where we live). But I tend to pay the most attention to the front/shared space. Which means that I also eat most of the strawberries I grow there. It is a sweet reward.

On Sunday, I visited my plot at the community garden. The previous gardener had woefully neglected the little spot, and it full of weeds, dried up plants, and bits of debris, including one cracked bottle of nail polish. I spent a few hours pulling out dead things and making a dent in the bindweed that is encroaching on the garden. (Bindweed is a horribly invasive plant and is impossible to actually kill.)

I made a fair amount of progress, though there's still work to be done. I also found a beautiful beetle clinging to the underside of a burlap sack in the back of the garden. He had died quite some time ago, and only the exoskeleton remained, iridescent in the sun. I carefully pulled the beetle off of the burlap and set him in the corner of my plot. I covered him with a pottery shard, and I asked that Beetle energy be at home in my garden, now named the Beetle Garden.

When I got home, I looked up Beetle in Animal Speak. Beetle is associated with metamorphosis, change, and new life. How perfectly appropriate for a new garden!

Anwyay, both during and after my adventures in the garden, I feared that perhaps I had pushed things too far. As restorative and nourishing as involvement with nature/plants/insects can be, I have only so much energy. And sometimes I can get lost in what I'm doing, to have the price extracted later.

It should be no surprise that Monday morning--or rather, afternoon, as I woke up at 12:00 PM--found me exhausted and sore. Today, Tuesday, I slept until 1:00 PM and am still exhausted. My throat hurts and I ache all over. Maybe I'm getting a cold. Maybe my allergies are acting up. Maybe it's just Lyme kicking me in the shin. In any case, I've got to take a break and live indoors and wrap myself in padding and be very gentle with myself.

Take what you want, and pay for it, says God.

On Friday, I'm going to see my LLMD. I need to figure out what I want and what I'm willing to pay. I'm doing a little better than a year ago. I can play in the garden, if I pay the price.

Should I add another antibiotic at this time? Is it time to switch to IV antibiotics? How much will treatment knock me down before I can get back up? Take what you want, and pay for it.